It Takes A Village To Get My Children To Piano Lessons

My old car, as some of you know, was the Minty Squirrel.

There has been a man who has been actually knocking on my door to get me to sell it to him for the last few months. I just have to get the paperwork together and the deed will be done.

I'm dragging my feet a bit....

I don't drive much. We live close enough to things in the downtown area of our small town that we walk most of the places we go. I take the train to work. We even take the bus on the weekends most places.

But we always drive to piano lessons.

I have taken the bus a few times. But piano lessons are on Monday at 6 pm. The girls are tired. I am tired. The last thing we really feel like doing is hoofing it to the bus and waiting, going through lessons, hoofing it back to the stop - waiting, then walking home. And it rains here. Sometimes pretty hard. Sometimes all winter.

Our "newer" car (actually a pretty old and very high-mileage Honda Accord) has a few, shall we say, issues. It does not like to start on sunny days. Or exceptionally hot days. Or relatively humid, cloudy days.

Or piano-lesson Mondays.

I have tried everything. For awhile, it seemed if I backed it into the driveway, there was a higher probability that it would start. If not, I opened the hood and turned on the AC or heater fan for a few minutes and it would start. Sometimes jiggling the battery cable connections would seem to get it to go. And, if the battery was corroded, a little Diet Coke dribbled on them would occasionally help start the engine.

I admit it, in my mind, I have even begun to "sneak up" on the car pretending to only need to get a CD out of the stereo, then quickly and much to its surprise (I'm sure) turn the key in the ignition and smash down spastically on the gas pedal.

Amazingly, all of these techniques have worked at some time or another. I must admit now that the myriad of techniques and the sporadic nature of their efficacy really just means that the damn car starts only when it wants to.

Natalie is used to my angry 5:30 pm on Monday calls requesting an hour's use of her car. She has never failed to be there when it is at all possible. This Monday she was gone, but offered the use of her old Mercedes.

The old Mercedes did not start.

I was about to give up when my other fantastic across-the-street neighbor, Adam, walked up to me and tossed me the keys to his truck. AND THEN, he carried three huge pumpkins across the street and began arranging them on my front step as we drove hurriedly away yelling, "Thank you! I'll make you cookies!"

I made cookies the next day, all the while thinking that I came incredibly close to not living on this street....to not living next to the car-lending neighbors....to not having the chance of speeding away in a strange vehicle watching someone decorate my front step with huge gourds.

Wow. That was a close one.

Quotable

Sophie on Squid:

"My friends today said they didn't like to eat squid, but none of them have ever tried it. I told them judging squid is just like judging people by the color of their skin. Geez. They never even gave it a chance."

Nightmares

Sophie received a $10 Toys R Us card for her birthday. Gift cards are all the rage and the preferred present for my girls right now. They immediately tuck their card in its slot in their wallet so it will be immediately available for shopping.

Last weekend I took her to spend her coveted card. We walked around and around and around. She hemmed, she hawed, she changed her mind approximately every 3.5 seconds.

Eventually she narrowed it down to a stuffed "Pound Puppy" and a "Skip-it".

I told her that although the Pound Puppy was quite adorable, the last thing she probably needed was another stuffed animal. A Skip-it, on the other hand, provided exercise and hours of summertime fun.

She still was unsure. So, typical of my pushy, I-know-what-you-want-more-than-you-know-what-you-want way - I made my point again. And more forcibly, I suppose. You know how when you truly believe that you are right and someone disagrees, you make your point again without deviation from the first point, but maybe talking more slowly and at a decibel level a notch higher? Yeah. I did that.

She got the Skip-it.

After she played with it for awhile that afternoon she came inside and plunked dejectedly on the couch.

"What's wrong, Soph?" I asked.

"Well..." she sighed, "I feel like you pressured me into that Skip-it."

*silence*

I finally replied, "Well, you're right. I did. Wow, I am so sorry. When payday rolls around how about I get you that Pound Puppy? We can't take the Skip-it back now because it is all scratched up, but I think you deserve what you really wanted in the first place."

I figured the Pound Puppy is not going to break the bank at $9.99, plus she hit that nail right on the head.

I felt relatively good that I had made it through this crisis - owning up to my mistake and even better, realizing that Soph was articulate enough to make her way through this issue with reason and calm, not having to throw a fit like a spoiled brat. It all felt really pretty good.

Until this morning.

Ten minutes before I walked out the door she woke up crying. Not just whimpering a little, but the screaming scared crying that comes from a really bad dream.

I scooped her up and carried her to the couch whispering, "It's okay....it's not real. I'm right here.....it will be alright." I always advocate talking about the dream because I found that when I was small and in my nightmare phase that talking about it seemed to lessen its intensity.

After a few shuddering breathes she faltered into telling me the story,

"We were at the fair, just you, me and Katie. You kept telling me to go on the bungee jump ride. You know the really big one that shoots you waaaayy up in the air on the rubber band things? You kept saying, 'Just do it Sophie. I know you will really like it.' So, I finally just did it. (crying loudly) AND THE RUBBER BANDS BROKE AND I FELL! I didn't even want to do it in the first place." (crying even louder)

Holy shit. See the connection?

I am directly responsible for my daughter's worst nightmare.

Betcha I don't get much for Mother's Day this year.

Sophies Birthday

Okay, listen. I have been struggling and struggling trying to get pictures of my wonderful Sophia's birthday extravaganza. I have tried posting pictures numerous different ways.

No matter what they are all screwed up.

So I came up with this.

This issue has been paralyzing. I don't want to show favoritism. So....this post will hopefully change. But in the meantime I have to start writing again.

Can I tell you that I had the greatest night ever last night? I saw David Sedaris live.

I want to be him when I grow up.

Except for the receeding hairline. Oh, and the homosexual part.

Not that there is anything wrong with that. I just don't think I can pull off the gay Greek orthodox male role.

On second thought...... nah.

Missed you all. And boy do I have stories!!

The President In My Head

This Just In!

Exciting news regarding the Ugly Sweater Contest coming first thing in the morning.....but, now on to bigger and better things.

Sophie informed me when I kissed her goodnight about 30 minutes ago that we all have presidents that live inside our head. They are part of the good germs (the orange ones) and the good germs consist of a president and a whole bunch of guards.

Purple and white germs are bad but they don't live in your head.

Fiona

As most of you know, Grace the neighbor kid is just like one of my own. She lives two houses down with her Mom and Dad, Natalie and Mistah (his name is really Eric, but Sophie just calls him Mistah - and it has stuck).

The girls' nanny, Mickie, is a fantastic 68-year-old spitfire who dyes her hair red and is always involved in some sort of adventure or another. Grace has been nanny-sharing this summer.

Mickie is normally a logical and sensible (but fun!) human being. But....for some reason she bought Grace a turtle for her birthday.

A turtle.

No aquarium, no gravel, no warm light thing....just a turtle. Without asking her parents.

Grace named the turtle Fiona.

Unfortunately for Fiona, and Grace for that matter, the cost of a full turtle set up is quite substantial. Ten gallons of aquarium per one inch of shell length.

Fiona is 5-6 inches long. That's some aquarium.

Needless to say, Natalie and Mistah are not amused. They are now struggling with how to break the disappointment to Grace gently. And also how to approach a fiesty 68-year-old woman with maroon hair on the inappropriateness of animal gifting.

In the meantime, Fiona is perched on some rocks in a bucket of water in my living room awaiting her fate.

And as Sophie says, "It's pwetty hawd to give away a tuwtle that alweady has a name."

It Was A Beautiful Service

We decided to bury him by the rosebushes.
We lit candles since it was a dusk memorial. And yes, those are rose petals sprinkled on the casket (Or shoebox. He was a size 7 - womens it turns out).
We cheered Frere and his memory with our candles.
The girls wrote a "Top Ten Things I Like About Frere".

10. He was fun to play with.

9. He was nice to his brother.

8. I liked his red eyes.

7. I liked his fluffy hair after his bath.

6. He wouldn't move around like Sunny in the bath.

5. His favorite fruit was grapes.

4. He had cute ears.

3. He was quieter than his brother.

2. He was nice to us.

1. He was thoughtful.

It was standing room only. Grace, Natalie, Eric and Roxy the dog came for the ceremony. It was so good for them to come.

Are You Sleeping?

Remember learning the song "Frere Jacques" (sp?) in school? The French version of the song,

"Are you sleeping
Are you sleeping?
Brother John.
Brother John.

Morning bells are ringing.
Morning bells are ringing.
Ding, ding, dong.
Ding, ding, dong."

I always get the French and Spanish versions messed up, so I sing,

"Frere Jacques,
Frere Jacques,
Dormes vous? (This is French)
Dormes vous?

Suena la campana.
Suena la campana.
Din, Din, Don. (This is Spanish, I think...)
Din, Din, Don."

Anyway, one of the girls' guinea pigs, named Frere Jacques, died last night.

*sigh*

I found that he had diarrhea a bit too late. He was very dehydrated and lethargic. I got up every hour last night to coax drops of water into his mouth and murmur over and over, "It's okay, Frere...this will make you feel better."

Well, it didn't.

He died at about 4 am. I wrapped him one of my last good hand towels (man, I really need new towels) and put him carefully in a shoe box. Then I woke up the girls to let them know.

They just stood around the box, petting him, with tears welling in their eyes. And what made me finally lose it is their murmurs of, "It's okay Frere. You probably feel better now."

They are definitely my girls. They may not look much like me, but they definitely have my heart.

He is now, literally, on ice in the cooler on the top shelf of the pantry - awaiting the memorial service and burial this evening. (I felt a bit terrible when I considered making him a toe tag. Terrible, but in a funny way.)

If anyone would like to attend the service (I know it's short notice) it will be at my house at 7:00 pm tonight. Donations can be made to Cavy Companions in lieu of flowers.

Elementary, My Dear Sophie

From Sophie's Detective Notebook:

Grace's CD is gone.

Clue 1 - My Mom left it on the kitchen table.

Clue 2 - Mickey poot it somewhere.

Clue 3 - We don't know where it is

That's all I know. Get a clue.

Clue 4 - The hamburger looks suspicious. And so does my butt. Shari looks suspicious cus she poot the CD on the table.

I wonder.

Maybe my friend has a CD that has Mamma Mia.

I think she was taking these notes during the birthday barbeque. And the butt thing? She is seven and into bathroom humor.

I, too, wonder.

Honey, That's Not Lipgloss

Sophie really wanted a purse and a wallet for her birthday.

I didn't get her one.

It's not that I don't want her to have one, it's just that it wasn't at the top of MY list of what to get her. I underestimated how much she really was counting on these gifts and, therefore, have heard about it ever since.

There is a woman in my vanpool who has 3 (or 4? no, I think it's 3) daughters - the youngest of which is graduating from high school. They had a huge bag of purses that were just going to be given to charity. She thought of me and my plight and generously gave to the "Shari REALLY Doesn't Want To Spend Her Hard Earned Money On a Purse For Her Seven Year Old Child" Foundation (or SRDWTSHHEMOAPFHSYOC, for short).

I brought them home and dumped them on the lawn in front of a screamingly excited Sophie. She chose a silver-sequinned number. One of those little sparkly bags that were very in - oh you know - maybe 10 minutes ago?

Then, I let Maya and Grace (the neighbor girl) each pick one.

They, being smart and frugal girls, decided to go through all the purses in hopes of finding money. This is not a bad idea. So I encouraged them.

Maya found approximately 13 cents, a condom and "Wild Cherry Lube". She was unimpressed by the 13 cents and the condom.....

But she thought the lube was lip gloss.

Thankfully, it was unopened.

I told her that under no circumstances could she use the "lip gloss" because it was someone else's and that is not hygenic. She pointed out that it was unopened, so I used the "I Forbid You Because I Am Your Mother" argument. I realize that this will only work so long, but it worked this time and that is all that matters.

So, if anyone else would like a nice "Wild Cherry Lipgloss" (unopened), a "Large" (whatever) Lifestyles condom and a few thousand slightly used purses....just let me know.

Toofless

Sophie FINALLY lost her tooth last night. It is one of the important front teeth. A dental rite of passage into the next stage of her life. You know....the big buck tooth stage.

It always makes me a bit sad.

And, strangely enough, Maya lost a tooth this morning. They always loose teeth at the same time. Check this out from July of last year.

She is so proud.

They still believe in the Tooth Fairy, but I am getting a bunch more questions than I used to. Note the bottom left picture/note. "Tooth Fairy, We believe in you. What do you really look like? Draw on the back."

And I did. It was a pretty good picture, too.

And this note is from Maya, you can click to enlarge it. She is allllll about the money. And the cat that I told them that they can get if they save the money for it.

Sophie added the "or a book" on the top. Because, the tooth fairy is also known to bring books.

And, if you're curious, the tooth fairy was both broke AND bookless. She got "Coins From Around The World". Two from Norway, one from New Zealand, one from Mexico and a quarter. She, thank God, was impressed.

Seven Years Ago, Yesterday....

at 11:57 PM, on Easter Sunday, in the year of the Rabbit, I gave birth to Sophie (Sophie Loafie LuLu Bell for short).

To celebrate this momentous occasion I present to you - Our Day In Pictures!

At 6:00 AM it was present opening time. At our house, there is just no need to wait.

The birthday breakfast was chosen. Teddy bear pancakes were on the griddle. The one on the left is the one Sophie chose for herself, not because it was a great representation of a teddy bear, but because, "This one looks like a sea turtle!"

Artistic license DOES apply to pancakes.

We went to the place of my employment to pick up the birthday cake (explanation follows) and took some pictures around our creek/waterfall area that is on our campus. Isn't it pretty?

The chef that works at our cafe at work is named Elio, and he rocks. He occasionally makes these fantastic cake creations to feed to the ravenous hordes. I had noticed an insane chocolate creation on Monday and asked if I could buy the entire thing before he cut it up and sold it. It was beautiful and as Elio said, "made with 4 different kinds of European chocolate." (Oooh, la, la!)

He sold me the whole cake for 12.95.

I love him.

Then we were off to our favorite chiropractor to get all straightened out for our day of fun and frivolity.

He's a very serious guy and my kids just hate him, as I am sure is evident from the picture above.

Um...I tend to get lost in Tacoma although I have lived in this area for over 5 years. BUT, we did find a really cool side street that offered up a fantastic view of the construction of the new Tacoma Narrows bridge. (The old one is the green one and the new on is.....oh...yeah...the one with the crane on top.)

We finally made it to our destination of Point Defiance Park. It is beautiful there. Sophie was really able to center her Vulcan mind meld powers and "encouraged" the young boys to push her sister and her back and forth on this contraption.

We walked through the beautiful Japanese gardens.....

And stared into murky reflecting pools. (The water was really not that color.)

Then we went walking along this great path along the water. All down the sidewalk for almost a mile are poems and things. This one is my favorite.

We gave up on the poetry sidewalk and walked along the beach. There were big cliffs of trees and ferns and green that were blocking the sun at this point in the walk. Sophie has on my sweater and is shaking the sleeve down her arm. She is not pumping her arm in the air in a sign of victory, but she could have.

I love this picture. I love the silhouette thing. I love the blues. I love the ferry. It really just sums up the day.

This is "the cake"! Holy crap it was good. Hooray for Elio the chef!

I hope her wish comes true.

Happy Birthday Sophie!

The Apples Are Falling Far From The Tree

Maya's report card comment section:

"Maya's positive attitude, conscientious completion of her assigned work and commitment to doing her best has provided her with many successes this year. Progress and improvement have been evident this trimester. We are working hard in the area of writing; it's encouraging to see her understanding grow. Thank you for sending such a delightful person to our class."

Sophie's report card comment section:

"Sophia continues to be successful in all areas. She as completed 30 of 38 units in the Readwell program and is currently reading independently in the Accelerated Reader program. She has read over 20 books in this program with a 96% accuracy on her tests. Sophia is able to write a well organized paragraph with topic sentence and at least two supporting sentences. She is an accurate speller and had beautiful handwriting. Her skills in math are good, as well. Sophia sets high standards for herself in both academics and citizenship and is a delight to have in class."

Shari's report card comment section from 1978:

"Shari talks too much in class and can be disruptive."

I'm Sure Glad It's Not Naked Day....

That's what Sophie said when we stepped outside of the restaurant and into 36 degree weather last night.

I was glad too.

Sophie on the Beach

This is, I think, is my favorite picture of all time.

What We Did On Our Summer Vacation

Picking gooseberries. Well, really we played in the creek, mostly.

Went to Grandma's and spent time with the cousins. From left to right: Maya, Lars, Rhiannon and Sophie.

Ribbon, the wonder horse.

Posing with rocks. What a background, huh? Remember the earthquake story? The epicenter was somewhere below that little mound of rocks on the left hand side off in the distance.

Haybales and hijinks.

Comic Relief from the Soph-ster

The following things have actually be said by my 6 year old over the past few months:


Sophie: "If you go to Juvie, can you ever come back?"

Me: "Do you know what Juvie is? It means Juvenile Hall, and it is prison for kids."

Sophie: "Oh.....I pictured a purple fuzzy building with the word "Juvie" in rainbow letters - the letters are dancing."

Me: "Oh.....uh, nope."

#########

"I am getting old. I have hair on my knuckles."

#########

Sophie: "I am drawing a "Y" on the ground to mark my buried treasure."

Me: "Isn't that supposed to be an "X"?"

Sophie: Well, I don't want anyone to find it.

########

Magnitude 5.6

My children are gone. They have been at their Grandma's for 8 days now. I have 6 more to go and I can finally be with them.

Everyone tells me that I am so lucky, I will be able to get SO MUCH done. Hah. Liars.

Here is a short list of what I have accomplished in the week (plus) that they have been gone.

• Wandered from room to room.
• Made copious messes that need to be cleaned up.
• Sorted through all of their clothes, folded all that need to go in a yard sale and stacked them on my couch.
• Left them there.
• Purposely left Sophie's favorite stick in the middle of the living room because I can't bear to move it.
• Smelled their pillows.
• Watched "Castaway" for the first time and sobbed when he lost Wilson.
• Bought dill pickles, but have decided not to open them until Maya can have one, too.

So, I admit to being totally mooney-eyed over my kids. Oh I miss them. I want them back.

It did not help that when I talked to them last night I was told some distressing things.

Apparently, Sophie has been having a difficult time sleeping. She always does. She tosses. She turns. She moans as if she is being murdered. For her, this is perfectly normal and she never even knows she has done any of it the next morning. After quizzing Maya on how things were going, she mentioned that Grandma kept yelling, "Shut up!" to Sophie all night. Now, I know that it can get irritating, especially all night long. But "Shut up"? That is a bad word at our house. I know that she did not even hear my Mom, but it broke my heart.

Then, Sophie told me something else. I had asked her if her cough had gotten any better. In the sweetest little voice she says, "I only cough now when I cry." Alarm bells. "Have you been crying alot?" Well, come to find out she broke one of Grandma's sea shells. I did the Mom thing in advising her to be very careful about touching Grandma's pretty things and make sure to apologize. She assured me that she had apologized but Grandma was "pretty upset".

I remember that feeling. There was a time that I broke a serving bowl. I took it into the horse pasture and buried it so there would be no evidence. I know the wrath of that woman.

If that isn't bad enough....while I was brushing my teeth this morning and listening to the news.

"Welcome back to Seattle Live. There was a 5.6 earthquake recorded in Montana between Dillon and Butte."

Let's see, my perfect and beautiful children are exactly in Montana, exactly in between Dillon and Butte. I know that a 5.6 is not that big, but good god! Not exactly earthquake country! Last time there was a big earthquake a brand new lake was formed near Yellowstone park. A lake where there was none before. Shit.

So, I called my Mom's number. Busy. My brother's. Busy. Information for a listing for the Dillon Police Department (where they probably still know me on a first time basis). Before I panicked totally and alerted the police, I decided to call my Mom back. It rang. My Mom picked up. And you know what she said?

"Oh, at first I thought maybe the air conditioning system in the house was going to explode. But then Maya was yelling at Sophie to get under the table and I finally figured out that it was an earthquake. I didn't call you because I didn't want you to worry."

There are many disturbing things in those sentences. But you know what makes it okay? Maya knew what to do. They are going to be just fine.