Thursday, August 31, 2006


Go to Google and search the word "Failure".

See what lists first.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

*Guess* What We Did This Weekend

This weekend was spent at home. No pictures were taken.

I will give you one hint - my shopping list from Friday night (in it's entirety):

Coffee - Whole Bean Espresso Roast
Coffee Creamer - Vanilla
Hefty Garbage Bags - XL, the black drawstring kind
Tampons - Multipack
Gum - Eclipse Spearmint
Beer - 12 pack of Fat Tire

(I am astounded that chocolate was not purchased, as it goes so well with tampons.)

So, what do you think we did?


Tuesday, August 29, 2006


As most of you know, Grace the neighbor kid is just like one of my own. She lives two houses down with her Mom and Dad, Natalie and Mistah (his name is really Eric, but Sophie just calls him Mistah - and it has stuck).

The girls' nanny, Mickie, is a fantastic 68-year-old spitfire who dyes her hair red and is always involved in some sort of adventure or another. Grace has been nanny-sharing this summer.

Mickie is normally a logical and sensible (but fun!) human being. But....for some reason she bought Grace a turtle for her birthday.

A turtle.

No aquarium, no gravel, no warm light thing....just a turtle. Without asking her parents.

Grace named the turtle Fiona.

Unfortunately for Fiona, and Grace for that matter, the cost of a full turtle set up is quite substantial. Ten gallons of aquarium per one inch of shell length.

Fiona is 5-6 inches long. That's some aquarium.

Needless to say, Natalie and Mistah are not amused. They are now struggling with how to break the disappointment to Grace gently. And also how to approach a fiesty 68-year-old woman with maroon hair on the inappropriateness of animal gifting.

In the meantime, Fiona is perched on some rocks in a bucket of water in my living room awaiting her fate.

And as Sophie says, "It's pwetty hawd to give away a tuwtle that alweady has a name."


Thursday, August 24, 2006

It Was A Beautiful Service

We decided to bury him by the rosebushes.
We lit candles since it was a dusk memorial. And yes, those are rose petals sprinkled on the casket (Or shoebox. He was a size 7 - womens it turns out).
We cheered Frere and his memory with our candles.
The girls wrote a "Top Ten Things I Like About Frere".
10. He was fun to play with.
9. He was nice to his brother.
8. I liked his red eyes.
7. I liked his fluffy hair after his bath.
6. He wouldn't move around like Sunny in the bath.
5. His favorite fruit was grapes.
4. He had cute ears.
3. He was quieter than his brother.
2. He was nice to us.
1. He was thoughtful.
It was standing room only. Grace, Natalie, Eric and Roxy the dog came for the ceremony. It was so good for them to come.


Are You Sleeping?

Remember learning the song "Frere Jacques" (sp?) in school? The French version of the song,

"Are you sleeping
Are you sleeping?
Brother John.
Brother John.

Morning bells are ringing.
Morning bells are ringing.
Ding, ding, dong.
Ding, ding, dong."

I always get the French and Spanish versions messed up, so I sing,

"Frere Jacques,
Frere Jacques,
Dormes vous? (This is French)
Dormes vous?

Suena la campana.
Suena la campana.
Din, Din, Don. (This is Spanish, I think...)
Din, Din, Don."

Anyway, one of the girls' guinea pigs, named Frere Jacques, died last night.


I found that he had diarrhea a bit too late. He was very dehydrated and lethargic. I got up every hour last night to coax drops of water into his mouth and murmur over and over, "It's okay, Frere...this will make you feel better."

Well, it didn't.

He died at about 4 am. I wrapped him one of my last good hand towels (man, I really need new towels) and put him carefully in a shoe box. Then I woke up the girls to let them know.

They just stood around the box, petting him, with tears welling in their eyes. And what made me finally lose it is their murmurs of, "It's okay Frere. You probably feel better now."

They are definitely my girls. They may not look much like me, but they definitely have my heart.

He is now, literally, on ice in the cooler on the top shelf of the pantry - awaiting the memorial service and burial this evening. (I felt a bit terrible when I considered making him a toe tag. Terrible, but in a funny way.)

If anyone would like to attend the service (I know it's short notice) it will be at my house at 7:00 pm tonight. Donations can be made to Cavy Companions in lieu of flowers.


Tuesday, August 22, 2006

What We Did This Weekend - O! Canada! Edition

My very best blogger friend (BBFFL) Anika was coming down this past weekend with a car full of friends to go to the Ani Difranco concert and I insisted that they spend that Friday evening after the concert with me. They were super kind and even invited me to come along to the concert...but work reared it's ugly head.

They did come to spend the night - lined up like sardines on my living room floor. Their Canadian excitement over the inexpensive wines at the grocery store was infectious.

But inexpensive rarely translates to "good".

This is Anika and her fantastically hysterical boyfriend Jason who kept me laughing with his stories all night. I love a person who can really tell a story. Jason, you can.

And Phil? I'm sure if you have spent any time on Anika's blog you probably have not seen a picture of him and her. They are a rare treat. He made breakfast Saturday morning. And he's super tall. That has nothing to do with breakfast you say?

Ha! He is the only one but me that would notice the griddle is located on top of my cabinets, not inside.

Yay for tall people!

This is Kaila and Jessica doing dishes. Aren't they sweet? Doing dishes!

Here's the group showing their ID's in preparation for the border crossing. Jessie (in the front) has no picture ID and was hassled by the mean lady border guard. I think she is practicing her "I didn't know I had to have ID officer.....really....but see how cute I am" evasive maneuver.

I think it worked because they got home.

Thanks for coming guys!


Work, Work, Work

I have been ridiculously busy. But don't feel like you are the only one's left out of my life. I got this email from my two co-workers today:

We’re sorry Shari, truly we’re sorry…..Daniel promises to stop eating rotten bananas in front of you and I will try not to whine so much if you’ll just come back! We know where you’re hiding anyway so get back in here! It’s not the same without you. We are like a triangle which makes a perfect shape and when one of us is missing the triangle becomes a lopsided “L” and “L’s” never accomplished anything by themselves, only triangles! Deep I know, but I trust you feel it too?

C & D

So I sent this back:

I picture an isosceles triangle. No side being the same length….funky, unpredictable, with limitless possibilities.

I miss you, too. But it will be back to regularly scheduled programming at noon today!

It's pretty nice to be missed like that.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

My Cubicle (Sung to You're Beautiful)

I really do like my job...but this made me laugh my head off.

Click here!

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

What We Did This Weekend - Dash Point

It started out pretty terribly. Maya got really sick by Friday and went back to the doctor and finally got the strep throat diagnosis. A penicillin shot and 12 hours later she was good as new.

Every summer we go to Dash Point. It's only about a 25 minute drive, but it is like an epic trek when we go. The cooler....the backpacks....the towels....the sand castle making paraphenalia.....

The tide goes really far out, as you can see. The coolest thing about this beach is you can walk so far out in the water and it is never over the girl's waist.
The fortified city. We build one every time. Then when the tide comes in we scream, "Save the city! Save the city!". It never fails that hordes of beachgoers, children and adults alike, gather round to try to prevent the tide from engulfing it. Amazingly, we can usually hold it off for much longer than you would expect.

It says, "By Grace, Maya and Sophie"

Jumping waves.


Sunday, August 13, 2006

Full Circle

Would you mind going and reading this post about my old neighbors Richard and Winny?


Winny passed away a few days ago. I wasn't able to make it to the funeral, but I called Richard to extend my condolences. Of course I offered casseroles, but he was swimming in them thanks to the ladies from his church.

Richard dropped by this evening to bring me a half used bag of popcorn.

"I don't know if you can use this kind," he said, "but I just use the microwave kind. I got a new microwave with a popcorn setting."

He sat down a visited for about an hour and a half. I know that this was not unexpected, but I don't think one is ever ready to lose the love of their life.

Unprodded, he told me the entire story of her last week of life and the moment of her death. He told me about the music that she had picked for her funeral. And also about the last minute addition of "Amazing Grace" that he added.

"It just fit her spirit so well."

As he was leaving he told me that Winny loved it when the girls and I would come over to take care of her feet. She loved the company, not just the bubbling footbath.

He turned around when he reached the door of his car and softly said, "I get pretty stiff in the winter, keep those toenail clippers sharp for me, will you?"

I wiped tears from my face as he drove away.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Duck, Duck, Goose

Sorry, but I have to make this quick.

The girls are home. My Mom was here, and I got up at 3 am this morning to get her to the airport to fly to Alaska to see my sister. (I did not know about the new terror alert this morning, so I am not really positive that she even made it....)

Today was also my department's staff summer crazy day out. We went to Seattle and spent the whole day.

The morning was spent "riding the Ducks". It's a touristy thing, but absolutely and totally fun. The Ducks are these 60 year old vehicles that can drive on land and float in water like a boat. So, the tour consists of driving madly around Seattle, quacking at people on the street with specially made quackers, and then driving into Lake Union for a tour of the houseboats, etc.

This time was especially interesting because the Duck we were riding in blew a drive shaft in the middle of the lake and we had to be towed in.

It was fantastic!

Then, we had a 4 hour scavenger hunt around the city.

It was truly a blast and tons of fun. Here are some pictures.

Oh....and when I got home Miss Maya was puking.

Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun. Welcome back, eh?

The aforemention specialized quacker. Oh, and we were going fast right at this point.

The other duck with the other half of our group. Gasworks park is in the background.

Trying to get to the dock.

The abandoned broken Duck sitting forlornly at the dock.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

They're Baaaack

Or they will be - soon.

It's 4:31 a.m. and I'm wide awake. I need to wash their sheets so they smell good for their first night home.

I don't have enough groceries.

Maybe I can make Sophie's favorite no-bake cookies before I go to work.

I am so excited.

Sunday, August 06, 2006

What's Your Sign?

Kristy and I went out on the town last night. We seem to go out together once every two years or so, and it's is always a night to remember.

Last night we had aliases. Not only names, but entire lives.

Kristy moniker was Ginger Spice, a truck driver from Vancouver B.C.

And I was Savannah Georgia from, strangely enough, Alabama. I drove a 1972 orange Volkswagen Beetle and wrote semi-autobiographical romance novels for a living.

Unfortunately, we were not approached and not given a chance to really flesh out our characters.

We are rarely approached when we go out because we are always in seriously deep conversation. If we dance, we dance together. We hold hands a lot, too. And drunkenly declare, "I love you!"

"No! I love YOU!"

It is all in good fun and super silly, but from the outside I am sure we look like a couple.

Not exactly the right kind of fodder for the predators in most bars, thank god.

But dammit, Savannah had some stories to tell.

Friday, August 04, 2006


The new position is really ramping up this week. Chris is leaving next week on Wednesday for China.

All day long yesterday, I kept getting...."Oh yeah, and we need to get this done by tomorrow. And, this other thing done by um....Today. And that big thing? With the 600 (literally) manual changes that need to be done? That has to be done on Monday. Along with the payroll audit."

Holy shit.

I dreamed that everyone in my department kept coming by my desk to give me Chris' things while he was gone.

A stapler. His tape dispenser. Reports. His phone.

My dreams are funny in a scarily symbolic sort of way.

Bear with me, maybe I will feel verbose this weekend.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Floyd Landis Is Selling Inspirational Bracelets

Just so everyone knows right away, I stole this picture and idea from "The Onion". But it's so damn funny.

And imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

And I'm tired and my brain hurts from thinking so damn much.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Minty Squirrel's Revenge

I have finally figured out what is wrong with my car! (It had problems with starting after work again...)

The problem is it just won't start from 3:30 - 6:30 pm.

That's all.

What the hell is that about? I drove to work yesterday so I could go have dinner at my friend Jeannie's house. After work, which just happens to be at 4:00 pm, the damn thing just wouldn't start.

Jeannie came and rescued me - which seems to be a recurring theme in my life right now - we had dinner, and at started with no problems.

Is it because it sits in the heat all day and that does something to some wiring because of expansion of something-or-other?

Or maybe it's a Mexican car and just needs the afternoon siesta.

I understand.

I'm fine with that.


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