Babysitting Crisis 2005!

I have a different babysitter over this winter break. She is a teenager.

This is not good.

This is a list of everything that happened when I came home from work Wednesday night.

• Actually, before I came home, she called me and flippantly happened to mention, "Oh, my Mom wants to spend some time with me, so I can't babysit Thursday or Friday." I called her Mom, and she knew nothing about this plan.
• I got home, said hello to the babysitter, her friend (a girl that I allowed to come over that day), and Maya, then went looking for Sophie. As I neared the bathroom, I thought she was in there with the door open. She always does that. And....I heard a little "tinkling" sound. I waited....and waited....and waited for that sound to stop. The girl does not have that large of a bladder, so I stepped into the bathroom - and into a huge pool of water. The toilet was overflowing. It seemed to be clean water....thank God.....and it was all merrily cascading down the heater vent in the floor.
• After returning from taking her home I noticed that my front screen to my picture window (that I just bought this fall and it took 2 days to get it on the window right because it was so damn tight) was lying in the middle of my front yard.
• I opened the silverware drawer to find it totally devoid of anything silver or ware-ish. It was all in the dishwasher. All of it. If I had a dinner party for 15 people, I wouldn't use all my silverware. I asked the girls if they new anything about it. They said that "the babysitter" had been laughing and trying to scare Sophie by.........get this........throwing silverware at her. From the kitchen into the living room. Yeah!
• At this point, I decided to call her and find out just what the hell was going on. Her friend answered the phone and I suppose it was pretty obvious that I was angry. When I asked for the babysitter to be put on the phone, she hesitated and finally stuttered out, "She's in the bathroom." When I said that I would be happy to wait, she said that, "Uh....well... she's, she's.....throwing up." I was not happy and told her that I could spot bullcrap like that a million miles away and I expected a call back that evening.
• She called. And denied or had a lame excuse for everything. The silverware incident? Didn't have any answer to that one, just dead silence.
• I explained to her that I was very angry that she disrespected my home, my kids and my intelligence. She could come (with her MOTHER) to pick up her paycheck on Friday when I got home from work.
• Her little friend called and left a message on my machine when I was out about how "She feels sorry for "babysitter ". And you are really mean. And you made her cry." I sincerely wanted to throttle that little bitch. If my kids ever do that to an adult that they don't know that was kind enough to let them in their house, I will personally inflict physical and emotional damage onto their sorry behinds.
• She called me back 4 times when I was talking to a friend. I detest caller ID and won't answer it, but the beeping thing finally had me so angry that I picked it up. She wanted to know why I fired her. WTF! First of all, she quit....she was only working until the end of this week, and secondly - she needed her ass fired.

All this in one day.

And I didn't even mention that on the first day she got in trouble because when I came home these items were all gone...

1. an entire plate of brownies
2. 1/2 a chocolate cake (that Sophie had won)
3. a quart of ice cream
4. a half gallon of orange juice
5. two boxes of fruit roll ups
6. 2 frozen pizzas
7. and I am sure numerous other things that I didn't notice

I had to talk to her about this on the very first day!

I have another babysitter, never fear. I think the worst is over.

Fuzzy Pictures Soon A Thing Of The Past!

Last night, amid the "Babysitting Crisis 2005" I got an incredible tidbit of news.

My highly intelligent, charming, pretty, adventureous, quick-learning, adaptable, works-well-with-others sister left me a message. It went a little something like this......

"Hi Shar-bear. (Only she is allowed to call me this. Anyone else tries to pull anything funny...well, you just won't like what will happen to you.) I noticed on your blog that Santa didn't bring you a new digital camera for Christmas, so I am bringing you one for New Year's."

I was listening to this while Maya was standing beside me. (Remember, she is the daughter who told Santa that all she wanted for Christmas was for me to get a digital camera because mine was stolen...)

She smiled a secretive sort of smile, looked up at me and said, "Santa is so smart. He knew that was going to happen."

And I cried. I cried because of the generosity of my sister. I cried because of the sweetness and innocence of my daughter.

And I laughed at the same time.

Thank you Shannon. You made my year.

What We Did This Month - A Story In Fuzzy Pictures

Winter Blast 2005 arrived in the Puget Sound. Panic spread far and wide. Generators were tested, food and water horded, emergency blankets purchased.

Then it melted the next day and we went back to work.

Our Winter Blast 2005 Snow Fort. It kind of fell over right after this picture.

Christmas Eve came and blue mush was stirred. Did you know that if you are lacking in the "mush" part of the recipe, you can use rice? Reindeer love rice. Didn't you know that?

Sophie stirs the blue rice for the reindeer.

One must also make your children pose with blue mush. This is essential to having a good holiday. If you don't do this, everything will really suck.

Oooo....look at the pretty tree/stockings/presents! Also note the girls new PJ's.

It is also a great tradition to pose your children sitting on the largest present possible. It is more stable, thereby making it the safest picture. Plus, the hugeness of the present makes you look like a fantastic parent.

The socks, slippers and dresses were also Christmas gifts. I had nothing to do with Sophie's pony tails. Nothing.

The girls open the huge gift. I love this picture most of all because it really wraps up the chaos and excitement of the moment. I did that on purpose. It has nothing to do with the fact that my post-having-my-good-camera-stolen-by-the-evil-busboy digital camera really is just terrible at taking pictures. Any and all pictures apparently.

The red blur on the left is Maya. The blue blur in the center (with the blurry stripey socks) is Sophie.

And your month?

Only 363 Shopping Days Till Christmas!

Sigh...

It's over.

I'm glad!

I love Christmas and I think I am one of the few people on earth who is not stressed out this time of year.....but man, I am always glad when it's over.

We had a wonderful weekend. Friday (Little Christmas Eve), my friend Jeannie came over to partake of a Norwegian (re: fishy food) feast with me. We had clam chowder, shrimp, and she was kind enough to bring Glogg. Glogg is very, very important.

Preparations were the key to Christmas Eve. One must make the blue mush, cookies for Santa, and basically run around breathlessly with excitement for a good 14 hours before finally going to bed. By the end of the day Maya wanted to go to bed at 6:00 because "it just seems like 5 minutes or something until you're awake again." That girl has some logic. (I've always said she was part Vulcan. Her one pointy ear is a dead give-away.)

Sophie and Maya wrote a note to Santa that said....

"Dear Santa,

How are you? We hope you're good.

Do you know our names? If you do write them. ______ ________

Have we been good this year? Maya______ Sophie________

We love you.

Maya and Sophie"

(hmmm.... I wonder if their names are.... Maya and Sophie?)

Santa, of course, responded with the correct names and both the girls got a "very good". He also added that he was very proud of them because they are kind and treat each other with respect. (You must take advantage of every opportunity for positive reinforcement!)

I stuffed stockings, set out the Santa gifts, ate all but one bite of the cookies, dumped out the milk (Santa might like milk, but not me!), emptied the blue mush, dumped cornstarch on the front step and drew in a reindeer track...... well, you get the picture. And I was well rewarded with one more year of the Santa magic still intact!

whew....it was a close one.

The next day was chaos, joy, abundance and laughter. What a great day. The girls got tons of toys from their Dad and I (of course) got them clothes and more useful things. I was able to get a bit grandiose this year and purchased a beautiful piano keyboard. It's awesome. Same size and feel as a real piano, but it takes up tons less room. Oh, and it has 500 different "voices" - guitar, grand piano, flute.....dog barking, space ships..... all the important stuff. They were absolutely shocked. And incredibly excited to start piano lessons next Monday.

I got Sophie a beautiful easel. She is very serious about becoming an artist, you know. When she opened it she just sat and stared at the picture on the box for quite a long time. I asked her if she was okay, and she looked at me with tears in her eyes and said, "Wow. Mommy it looks - expensive." She was overwhelmed. By an easel. At six.

Cool.

Maya's favorite thing was something that I picked up last minute at Costco. You know how everything comes in large economy sizes there? Well, this little girls makeup kit that I got her came in a econo-sized suitcase. There is enough glitter and fruity smelling lip gloss in there to keep her smelling like papayas and glittering like a Vegas show girl for at least a few years. It was ridiculous and unnecessary.

That's what made it great.

(Just a side note: I only let her wear all this stuff at home. Don't look at me like that.)

And me? I got some gift cards from family, an alarm clock (so I don't have to use my old beat up watch anymore), and wonder of wonders....a Minnesota Vikings fleece pullover.

I have been a Vikings fan since I was little and they were actually good. The "Purple People Eaters" phase. The shock of this gift is that it came from John (the girls Dad). You see, we don't really get along that well..... my very first post on this blog is about him. Most of the time, I deal with him in toleration-mode for the girls. Sometimes I barely do that. But sometimes he can come right out and shock me with something good. ("Something good" usually runs along the lines of offering me a piece of gum.) But that sweatshirt was a big deal. And I'll tell you why...

John is a HUGE sports junkie. He knows everything about every sport. It's creepy. If you're watching a basketball game, he will mention some abstract thing about a player and then three seconds later the announcer will say the same thing. No one should ever know what much about sports without a teleprompter.

He's also from New York. Probably enough said. (Rabid fan of the Yankees, the Knicks and the Jets) If you are not rooting for a New York team, you are basically a pile of crap as far as he is concerned. He teases me unmercifully about the Vikings. One year they actually got in the playoffs, and when the lost I cried and cried. He laughed, jumped up and down, and pointed at me.

A lot.

When we were together he would get me gifts that weren't really fitting to me. Jewelry, perfume... all nice to have, but not really something that I love. One year he got me the perfect gift. I thought he finally had me figured out and that it was a sure sign that we would be together forever.

He got me Tom Brokaw's biography.

How I love Tom Brokaw. He is my dream man.

Anyway.......I still have the book, but John is long gone......

So the sweatshirt was nice. It doesn't mean that I have to like him or anything. But it was nice.

All in all, it was a wonderful few days.

I hope all of yours were great, too!

Happy Little Christmas Eve

It's finally here! Little Christmas Eve! And I now know that it wasn't just something made up by my Grandpa Lars! See?

The feasting on lefse, clam chowder, pickled herring and lutefisk can begin!!!

Have a great holiday everyone! See you back here on Tuesday....

Shari Santa Has Arrived!!

And let me tell ya....that trip down the chimney was a bitch! I know it's early, but I just couldn't wait any longer!

So no one feels like I am playing favorites, I will meter out my gifts in alphabetical order.

#######
To my swanky international (Canadian) friend Anika who wished fervently for a puppy....

I give you that puppy. But I also give you a random guys crotch. Because, you know, us single gals have to stick together.

I also gift to you the ability to do the the yoga "puppy" pose. As we all know, it is a version of downward facing dog, and it's just one of those things that may come in handy with the above gift. *blush* Use it as you see fit.


#######
And to my friend Ant. Another swanky international blogger who wished for a fast, flashy and fancy car.....



Ta-Da!

OOPs! That's MY car (yes, the infamous Minty Squirrel)

Here's the one I really want you to have....



or you can choose this instead...



Just let me know your choice.

#######

Now on to Miss Janie. You had quite the list little one. To be honest, I just didn't have the time to conjure up world peace for you, but I got you the next best thing....

And a totally huge assortment of knitting needles...



And that holiday with your blogger friends? You're hosting! Remember? See you soon! :)

########
Megan. The one gift that was harder than World Peace. Mexico. Do you have any idea how I would love to really give you this? I know what it means to you. I know you really, really want it. All these other gifts were fun to seek out, but yours broke my heart a little bit. I love you and fervently hope that you someday get your wish for real.

And I also give you a day of eating shrimp with your Dad on the beach. Merry Christmas.


########
To my Imaginary Internet Triplet Sister Sherri....

Thinner Thighs!



Longer Hair!



And a calorie/fat free chocolate fountain for your foyer!


########
And Squishi....I loved your list of things. Really? All you want is a toy for your budgie bird and a self cleaning fish tank?

Here's something for Bob...



And who wouldn't want a fish tank coffee table....



I know you're thinking, "Is it really self-cleaning?". Well, no. But, how about your own.....(drumroll)....

Fish Tank Cleaning Pool Boy!!!

#######

And a note to all my other lovely friends..

If you weren't given a gift it isn't because I don't love and care about you. You had to actually leave me your list dummy! So you can't be mad a me!

Merry Christmas (and any and all other various holidays) everybody!

Found!

I just spent the last hour perusing this site....


www.foundmagazine.com

Why didn't anyone tell me about this?????

An Open Letter To My Sister

I remember the day that Mom took those pictures of us by the flowering almond tree. You were taking me over to Grandma's house to swing on the swingset - and I'm sure you stopped to pick some crabapples for me along the way. You always did.

I know Mom always liked to have our family pictures posed, but I am sure that I would have held your hand anyway.

I always wanted to be like you. You are so smart, funny, talented (you can draw!!), and always had the most interesting and cool friends. Oh, and you inherited the flat stomach and I got the poochy one. I know we had our differences in the teen years, but it was my fault. When I realized that I couldn't be like you I tried to be just a cool as you, but in the opposite way.

I'm sorry I hit you that time. Even though you pulled my hair really hard.

I forgive you for launching me into the middle of the lawn during the infamous go-cart wreck that was caused by your inability to tolerate your socks not being pulled all the way up to your knees. Just keep your hands on the steering wheel next time, okay? (And I really hope you are now wearing your socks differently. I'm just sayin'...)

I admire the way that you live your life. You work hard. You travel. You are living the life that you want to live. Not many people can say that. "Not all who wander are lost" is the perfect quote for you.

Thank you for being the one that is always willing to talk about the hard stuff. And I apologize for my reluctance and weeping.

I watch my girls grow up, mirroring us in many ways, and it makes me realize how important having you in my life is. I'm glad that you were born first and had to take on that "role model" thing, because I don't think I would have been as good at it as you have been.

Thanks.

The Traditional Santa Photo

**Look! They're holding hands! AWWWWWW.........**

Windshield Wipers are DANGEROUS

I don't know why I would have a dream that a woman was murdered in my house by having windshield wipers shoved underneath her fingernails.....

But I did.





*****Cue really scary and crescendoing movie music here******

Company Christmas Party

I have said this before, but I love where I work.

They had a big Winter Carnival for employees and their kids yesterday afternoon. There was Santa pictures, blow-up bouncy things, bingo, food, a cake walk - just about everything.

The girls had such a blast that they both fell immediately asleep on the ride home (at 3:00!).

I have to say that while Sophie is hysterical and funny and the best kid's kid there is, Maya has once again proven that she will be there to take care of me when I get old and start peeing my pants.

How do I know this? Well...

• When she won at the cake walk, she sprinted over to the table that was filled with over 50 beautiful cakes and picked out the one that I had made. It was not beautiful. It was a bundt cake that had actually fell apart and I had literally "glued" it back together with icing. And sprinkles. It was horrid. But Maya loved it and just beamed as she carried around her "saved" cake.
• When they had their pictures taken with Santa, Sophie was so nervous that she had absolutely nothing to say. But Maya - what did she ask for? She asked him if he could bring me a digital camera because mine had gotten stolen.

I. love. her.

Okay, Let's Try This Again

I'm feeling a bit better than yesterday. Hopefully I won't run into that brick wall that appeared out of nowhere at about 1:00 in the afternoon.

Here are the updates.

- Mamma Mia

Fantastic! Bravo! Megan and I both attended at it was absolutely hilarious. I think we were both a bit on the edge of our seats in the beginning. There was that fear of , "Are they going to try to take Abba music seriously? And if so, what is my reaction to that?"

Never fear, it was all very tongue in cheek and incredibly well done. I did get disappointed when....

*****ALERT! ALERT! SECRET MAMMA MIA STORY LINE BLOWN BELOW! IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO KNOW THE END, SKIP TO THE NEXT UPDATE********

The Mom gets married at the end instead of the daughter. All through the story they allude to the fact that she was this 70's maven of free love and feminism. I'm glad that it was Sam, but really, it would have just been better if they decided to live in sin. I'm just saying....

- imaginary Internet Christmas Shopping

I have been spending all my free time finding gifts for all of you that took advantage of the Shari Santa Christmas gift offer. Stay tuned. Your greatest wishes shall all be fulfilled..... If you haven't submitted your grandest Christmas wish, there is still time. Go here. Think big. Leave your wildest dreams in the comments.

- My Sister

I was talking to my sister (the one that is in Antartica) on the phone last week. It's a hard conversation because of the distance. There is this long pause between the time you speak and the time the person hears you. It goes something like this....

Shannon- Hi!

(pause)

Shari- Hey!

(pause)

Shannon and Shari simultaneously - How are you?

(pause)

Shannon and Shari simultaneously - Go ahead.

(pause)

Shannon and Shari simultaneously - I'm good.

Well, you get the picture. The pauses, the talking over each other. The worst was our conversation was cut off right in the middle. I heard from my Mom later that the phone lines were going to be down for a week.

And she sounded a little sad. I hope she's not sad.

Shannon! Call me! Don't be sad!

Go ahead.

-Come! Live on my street!

Check this out.....

Go here to see the drawing of my imaginary house. Her name is Camille. When I was little I always wanted a pink house with a green roof. Don't ask me.

I have set up a street where you can all draw your own houses and live with me in a damn fine neighborhood. Our street is named Electric Avenue (let me take you higher).

Be my neighbor! Go here!

This is what my drawing said about me....

Based on your drawing and the 10 answers you gave this is a summary of your personality:

Your house tells the world that you ought to be a leader. You are a freedom lover and a strong person. You love your house and family. You are a gifted artist as well. Once you have a problem, you need a friend with you. Your life is always full of changes. You are very tidy person. There's nothing wrong with that because you're pretty popular among friends. Your life is always full of changes. You will avoid being alone and seek the company of others whenever possible. You love excitement and create it wherever you go. You see the world as it is, not as you believe it should be. You are not a romantic person by nature. It also safe to say that others don't see you as a flirt. You don't think much about yourself.

Gifted artist? How obvious!

Have a great day neighbors!!

Ugh....sniff....going home....

Okay, I can't take it anymore. I'm going back home. Here is one of the things that I promised. The others will just have to wait.

PS - could someone just put me out of my misery, already?

Your 80s Heartthrob Is

Jason Bateman

Who's" Your 80's Heartthrob?

I Am ALIVE!!!

Just a quick post to let everyone know that I'm alive. I've been out sick the past two days.

The best thing about coming back to work was finding all of the comments that were posted since I was gone. It made me feel....well, good. But that just isn't quite the word I was looking for.

I have a good post in the works that includes -

- info about Mamma Mia
- something about Jason Bateman
- shout outs
- lotsa other great things....

Stay tuned!

I Cannot Control My Emotional Self

Last night Maya was in her school's Holiday Play/Musical thing. She was one of the chorus and sung her little heart out.

I always am so proud of her when she does these things because she is the shy one of the family. Sophie is just out there and really has no choice except to become a famous actress some day. She dances, she sings, she makes a fool of herself no matter what the situation. Maya is hard pressed to even enjoy this type of thing.

We got there very early and Maya had to go sit on the riser, in her designated spot, even though no one else was there. This is just the way she is. She has a spot to be in and she is there. No deviation. No messing around. So I sat in the empty theater seats and watched her mouthing the words of her songs over and over, intermittently taking huge, deep breathes because she was so nervous.

She just makes me smile.

When the play finally started and Maya opened her mouth and started belting out her part....well, I cried like a baby. Again. Remember this post? The excitement just gets to me. I had finally begun to control myself near the end. But of course the finale got me, once again.
It would have anyway, but my best friend's daughter had a solo. She did such a beautiful job. What a voice. And her presence was just awesome. So the crying continued.

You would think that was enough, wouldn't you?

But alas, the weeping continued.

We got home and just a few minutes after walking through the door I heard blaring Christmas music. This may irritate some people, but in our town it can only mean one thing.

Santa on a firetruck.

Every year the firemen decorate a firetruck all in lights, plop a real live Santa on top (spotlighted), blare Christmas carols and drive around giving all the kids in our town candy canes. They pick a different neighborhood every night and work for at least 2 weeks to get all the downtown neighborhoods covered.

And guess what?

It makes me cry every damn time.

Tradition

My family has some messed up holiday traditions.

Messed-up Holiday Tradition #1

Not only do you leave milk and cookies out for Santa, but you also leave blue mush out for the reindeer. Those poor things are doing all the work anyway. Here is my reindeer food recipe....

some water in a pot

some sort of gruelish-type stuff

Boil water. Add some kind of gruelish type stuff. Cook till coagulated. Stir in copious amounts of blue food coloring. Place in bowl outside or if you live in the country on a farm or a ranch, put it in the hay loft.

picture these really blue......

(PS - I find grits to be the best gruelish-type stuff because it is white and ends up being the purty-est color of blue.)

You may ask, "Why blue?" Well, I have no idea. My Grandpa Lars made this up I think. Or it's an ancient Norwegian tradition. Just go with it.

Messed-up Holiday Tradition #2

Little Christmas Eve.

Once again, I think Grandpa Lars made this up. He liked the holidays and concocted ways to elongate them if possible.

Legend has it that the day before Christmas Eve - December 23rd - is celebrated with family, food and lots of wine. He chose an amazing vintage every year - usually Ernest and Julio Gallo in the gallon jugs with the twist off lids.

Yep. Sigh.

Anyway, you must dine on fine Norwegian delicacies including, but not limited to...

1. Lefse (Norwegian tortillas)





2. pickled herring (pickled fish is surprisingly good on Ritz crackers, plus, it's brain food)





3. Kumla (some sort of soupish stuff that I always hated)




Ummm..mine was more soupish - and without the elves.



4. Lutefisk (Fish jello - that's all I have to say about that)





5. And fish eggs that you squeeze out of toothpaste-type tubes. (I liked this too. I CAN'T HELP IT! I WAS EXPOSED AT A YOUNG AGE PEOPLE!)

I no longer serve lutefisk or kumla on Little Christmas Eve. I replace it with something more acceptable, like clam chowder. This way my friends will still come to my house. But I won't lie to you, I sneak some pickled fish and toothpaste fish eggs when no one is looking.

Messed-up Holiday Tradition #3

I don't have to do this anymore, but I would.

Always feed the animals early and well on Christmas morning.

My Dad would feed our cows on our ranch the best bales of alfalfa on Christmas. He was such a softie.

Messed-up Holiday Tradition #4

My mom would always make us get dressed up and brush our hair and teeth and stuff before we got to open presents. She wanted charming and adorable Christmas pictures.

I, on the other hand, don't make my kids even change out of their PJ's on Christmas. What's the use? (I do eventually make them brush their teeth. The thank you kisses can get pretty horrid otherwise.)

So? Anyone else with messed-up holiday traditions?

**all images found by Google images - I claim none of these beauties for my own.

Big News...I've Been Keeping A Secret

Okay, many of you went through the whole interview process with me for my new job back in August.

What I failed to mention was - the job was temporary through the beginning of 2006.

I was in denial. I admit it. The money was so much better. The hours, too. I just didn't want to admit that it could end and I would, once again, go back to the drudgery of part-time and low pay.

I have been working my ass of in this department and I think that they like me and would have liked to have kept me, but the person I replaced is definately coming back from maternity leave.

I started to panic around November 15th.

Awesomely enough, my temporary boss gave me permission to go ahead and interview for any job openings - with the express purpose of getting me a similar job and reducing any time that I had to spend at my old position.

Thank God.

I interviewed for a HR position that actually fit my personality and pay grade needs a few weeks ago. Then, I made it to the second interview.

This weekend I had a dream that I got the job but forgot to ask what the pay would be. I have been worried about this because the range for the new job is starts slightly lower than where I am now. In my dream, when I finally asked about pay, I was told that I would get paid $2.00 an hour.

Nightmare city.

Guess what? I got the job! I found out yesterday!

And never fear - I actually get a raise when I transfer over....

Whoopee! Smile!

Merry Christmas to me!

What I Want For Christmas

I miss my Dad this time of year.

He passed away three years ago from esophageal cancer. It was awful.

It's not like I miss him around Christmas because of his jovial attitude and overabundance of Christmas cheer. It's really the opposite.

He refused to ever want anything for Christmas. Every damn year you asked him what he wanted he would reply, "Plain white cotton t-shirts and wool socks." And there was really no use in getting him anything else. If you did it would stay in it's box in the closet for years.

When we were younger he would tease us unmercifully. He would get the fire in the fireplace just roaring and tell us that he was going to stay up all night and keep it going so that Santa couldn't get down the chimney. One year my brother, sister and I physically dragged him down the hallway to my parent's bedroom. It took hours - he was a large Norwegian rancher and we were mere children. Plus, rumor has it, that I just sat on his stomach and giggled the whole time. Not much help. But Mom said we slept like angels that night.

He even called our neighbor to tease my brother's friend Tater (yes, that's his name). He told Tater that he had captured Santa and was holding him for ransom. He would let him go if Tater promised to give him his best Christmas present. Poor little Tater was fully prepared to come down later that day to relinquish his prize BB gun, but Dad finally dropped it.

After we all grew up enough to not believe in Santa, he would scrawl (in the worst handwriting ever) on the gift tag, "To: Shari From: Claws". Get it? Claws (Claus)? Funny stuff.

I had a few years there were I was not exactly the most charming or best behaved daughter. But I still wasn't ignored at the holiday - although I probably should have been. One of those years he got everyone a toy car (that had some money taped to the bottom). I can't remember what my brother and sister got....but I got a police car.

And then the next year there was a big lump of real coal in the toe of my stocking. Put there by him, wrapped in plastic wrap - but wrapped in the plastic was also a $100 bill.

I just was going through a box of Christmas stuff this weekend. Forgotten at the bottom was an envelope that looked empty. I almost threw it away. But, when I looked inside I realized why I had kept it. It was from eight years ago, and keeping with tradition (and more importantly overriding the need to shop) it was one of those money cards. Inside the flap was written these words of wisdom, kindness, and hope of the season,

"Don't tell anyone about the $$. - Claws"

What do I want for Christmas this year?

One more day with "Claws".

Holiday Wish Lists Needed

I have not received as many holiday wish lists as I would have expected. Remember this post? Do you not want whatever your little heart desires?

What is your problem?

Wanna Know How Pathetic We Are?

Watch out! The "Winter Blast 2005" has arrived!

I'm going home due to inclement weather! :) (Not everyone I work with knows that I'm originally from Montana.)

Breaking News!

According to my horror-scope...

"This New Moon occurs in your 7th House of Significant Others"

Is there really a 7th House of Significant Others? I don't really want one. Or seven.

If I must have one, I am definitely going to rent, not buy.