Regression

If my life was a reality show I would be voted off first due to the fact that I would just not be believable to the television audience.

The worst storm in 13 years is currently blowing in with sustained winds of 40-50 mph and gusts up to 90-100 mph. It's a bit intimidating.

While getting ready for what might come (lighting candles, cleaning out the oil lamps and scrounging up extra blankets and bottled water) I noticed a hissing noise coming from the back of the refrigerator. I was thinking that maybe it was a frion leak of some sort. The funny thing is I am not really sure there is such a thing as a frion leak....

After I wrestled the fridge out from its nook I discovered that the water line to the ice maker had a pin hole in it. It shot me in the shin with a tiny, but very strong, stream of water. Desperately I searched for a valve with which to turn off the water that was being fed to this line. To my great dismay there was no valve to speak of, and the water line fed directly into a tiny hole in the floor.

I called the landlords and after a few failed attempts led by their improper memory of the household plumbing, we found the valve....underneath the bathroom sink.

Of course! The bathroom sink! Why didn't I think of that?

During the mop up I realized that the water has done some probably pretty serious water damage to the floor and dry wall in that area.

Bummer, right? Well, that's not all!

Shortly thereafter I discovered that there was no hot water AND the kitchen stove was not working. They are both electric and are nestled in the same wall as the spouting refrigerator (from now on refered to as "Old Faithful").

Can you all say dangerous electrical fire hazard, everyone?

Unfortunately, after I turned the valve underneath the sink to the off position, it began to leak. I did not know this right away, but disovered it because I stepped in the puddle on the floor created by the water slowly but surely cascading through all the items in my bathroom cabinet and drip, drip, dripping onto the floor.

After cleaning up that particular mess, I started dinner by determining what I had in my refrigerator and freezer that could be reheated in the microwave. Dinner ended up being a can of green beans, shrimp steamed in by cool countertop steamer thing-a-ma-jig, and microwaved left over mashed potatos.

I now have a sneaking suspicion that my freezer and refrigerator cooling levels are no longer at optimum levels of iciness so my next project will be transfering the contents of this freezer into the larger pantry freezer that still seems to be functioning.

Oh, and I still need to heat up enough water in the microwave to be able to do the dishes.

At any moment I am convinced that my home will morph into a sod roofed cabin in the middle of the American prarie surrounded by an immense heard of large and aggresive buffalo.

I am off to go find my calico dress and butter churn....

PS- if the wind blows one of the numerous 100 foot tall douglas fir trees onto my house or car tonight I am going to very pissed off.