Its Slap Your Mama Good!

The problem with being a terrible blogger is all the time between posts seems to run all my good stories together.

Sorry about that.

Part of the problem is a bit of depression due to the fact that I did not get the job I was so fervently hoping I would. Damn. It really sucks. But what's worse is the guy that got the job totally deserves it, has more experience than I do and will be fantastic at it. If only I could spout off about "glass ceilings" and "unfair interviews" and whatever else.

But alas, I cannot. Oh well. Moving on....


Maya had her school musical extravaganza on Monday. It's mostly the entire 4th, 5th and 6th grades singing various songs. They have what they hope to be entertaining interludes between songs. Maya was slated to be a polka dancer in one of these interludes. The worst, but at the same time most entertaining thing, was that they couldn't get the polka music to play. The poor kids eventually did all their kick-ass polka moves sans music.

It was actually pretty good in a "Stomp" sort of way.

The second ever piano recital was Sunday. This last spring was the first ever piano recital - to be always known by "The Recital That Maya Almost Puked She Was So Nervous". I am happy to report that she was not nervous this time and nailed her song. (It had legato on the bottom hand and staccatto on the top - all you piano people know how hard that is!)

Sophie is that strange kid that never gets nervous. She loves the crowd and the crowd loves her. She skipped up to the piano and banged through (with a really rough spot during "Jingle Bells") her two songs. Afterward, she shot the audience her killer one-toothed smile and skipped back off the stage to high-five me.

We were the only people that high-fived after a performance. I can't imagine why.....

Anyway, warts and all, Sophie's performance definately drew the most chuckles and loud applause. Knowing how to work the crowd really has its advantages.

And finally, the last subject....

The girls informed me around Thanksgiving that the most important - nay, VITAL - thing on their Christmas lists this year was a Nintendo DS with the Animal Crossing game. They both want one.

I tried to disuade them by using the best distractions I could come up with. I even told them, "You really need to think about this. Remember that I have a budget for Christmas and if you both want this as a present it is very likely you will get nothing else from me. Think about it and let me know."

A day later they both informed me that if they got nothing else for Christmas but this thing that they would be the happiest kids on earth.

Well, I really had some clothes and other small incidentals in mind so I was trying for quite a while to figure out how to come up with the $300 that it would cost to get them both this game system.

I decided that I would make my (not mine really, but my Mom's) famous Peanut Brittle and try selling it at my company's holiday bazaar. I spent $35 on ingredients and the paper to make the boxes.

I MADE THE BOXES!

It's all about profitability.

By the end of this weekend I had $18 boxes premade. That, my good friends, is an extreme amount of slaving over a hot stove. If I never smell peanut anything ever again, I will be a happy woman.

Today was the bazaar. I sold out all 18 boxes and have orders to deliver 16 more boxes on Monday of next week. All in all I grossed $340 and more importantly I cleared $305! That's $5 over plan.

I owe it all to my fantastic marketing skills. I had small signs up stating important peanut brittle facts like:

"It makes you smarter!"

"You will be better looking""

"It promotes healthy gum tissue!"

"All your friends are buying it!"

And the ringer was the sign below. The name for my enterprise was just a streak of genius. "Slap Your Mama Good Peanut Brittle" was the hit of the Holiday Bazaar. I allowed everyone free samples, but only if their Mama was not with them, as I didn't want violence to erupt.

I might just have to hire myself out for some consulting.