Monday, October 23, 2006

What I Did This Weekend - Distraction

You may notice that the weekly segment's title this week is changed just a bit. The "we" has morphed to an "I".

I can't deny that everything done this weekend was totally for my own benefit.

I spent Friday night with three friends drinking mulled wine and playing Cranium. My team won by the way. And we hardly cheated at all!

Saturday was spent doing chores and getting ready to go to a Halloween costume party with my friend Jeannie. We went as Nick and Nora - the characters from Dashiel Hammett's Thin Man series. I was looking quite smashing as Nora in my sparkly, fringy black dress, red feather boa, insanely high heels, and even more insane red lipstick.

But, the MapQuest directions were no good. We had no phone number. We drove in circles.

And then we went to eat at the Thai place by the mall. There was no shortage of strange looks.

Sunday was spent lolling alongside the Carbon River. I lay directly down in the sand - the finest sand ever on the earth. It's made of ash and glacial silt and lahar leavings. It's beautiful stuff, like powdered sugar. The girls played in the clay - making quicksand and taking turns saving each other from it.

My heart just wasn't in it.

Saturday Voldemort got married.

I thought I would be okay with it. I have had since Spring to come to the realization that I had missed my chance. For two years he had been so sweet. Said all the right things. Sent me little notes in the mail like this:

"You bring light to the world. It has been dark here lately. I need to see you soon."

No matter how I replay it, I still made the right decision for me. I couldn't go there. I knew he was looking to get married and have that picture perfect thing. He needs his own children. He needs his own non-watered-down experience. And I can't and won't have that to offer for quite some time.

But still, it hurt.

Friday night I was telling on of my favorite stories about my college roommate and I watching "Let's Make a Deal" and how the adorable, young, and obviously broke couple made us cry. They would have been totally happy with Door Number One - but it was quite obviously not the best door. All of a sudden my laughter dissolved into tears. They all thought I was just doing the patented Shari-laughing-so-hard-she's-crying thing. But I had just realized how fitting the rest of the story was. I wasn't able to finish it then, but I will now....

The damn audience pushed and pushed them to choose another door. Laura and I yelled, "No! You'll be happy with this! What if you get a goat (or something)?" I was on the edge of my seat with worry for them.

They chose another door much to my dismay. And guess what?

They won a trip around the world. The honeymoon they never had.

I would have never imagined it was possible.

I'm not very good at that game.



At 11:26 PM, Blogger Ant said...

A bittersweet weekend. Well, at least the couple got that honeymoon (that's some involvement in the game you got going on there... :o)

And who knows, maybe you'll get some closure from the whole Voldemort thing after this?

At 10:03 AM, Blogger Christine said...

Bah to Voldemort....

One day, when it's right for you and on your terms I have no doubts that you'll get exactly what you're looking for.

At 1:48 PM, Blogger Janie said...

i hate it when my heart hurts. and i hate it when yours hurts too.

At 1:07 PM, Blogger Ultra Toast Mosha God said...

I emitted a wry chuckle to this.


Life's a bitch, right?


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