Tuesday, October 10, 2006

You And Me Baby Ain't Nothin' But Mammals

Okay. I have a dilemma.

I have been feeling a bit lonely of late. This, too, shall pass - I know. But I am wondering if I shouldn't venture out a bit.

And by saying venturing out, what I really mean is, heading back to something well known and comfortable.

I don't have time or patience for a relationship. Hell, I don't really want a relationship in most peoples' view of the word.

What I want is the option to see someone when I want, not get hung up on them, and keep up with my everyday living as if nothing has changed.

Is that too much to ask?

I don't want a bunch of phone calls or emails - one every few days or so; once a week maybe?

I would like some companionship that has no strings attached and that I know I will enjoy. And I know just the guy. It's been done before with fantastic results.

But still I hesitate.

The thing is, I tend to start liking the person that I have sex with. Against all my rules and all my plans. I don't want to get stuck in the drama of the liking, the having to stop a good thing because of the liking, then the feeling bad because the person I like, I left.

Capice?

Whatever.

And I know what you all will say. But I stand firm. There is no reason that I need someone in my life. I truly believe that it would be absolutely ridiculous to start in with someone, have them meet my girls, have it not work out.....etc.

My girls are worth waiting until they grow up. At that point I will put myself through all the crap I want. But it's not about me right now.

This person knows my rules...they don't need to be attentive for long periods of time, they don't meet my girls, they don't....well, get involved.

Now I need to discern whether I know my rules or not.

10 Comments:

At 9:00 AM, Blogger Christine said...

Bah to following rules, even when they're your own. And I can understand your concerns about getting people involved with your girls, or putting them through anything, because, god, that would be awful for you.

But, that said, sometimes a woman has some needs. And I think you should follow the title of your prior (October 8th) entry.

 
At 6:21 PM, Blogger Kingfisher said...

Hey, it's the 21st century. Find a male friend you like and trust, suggest the "friends with benefits" thing, and get laid once in a while.

No worries, no shame, no pent-up "grrrrrrRRRRRR!!!!"

I found out a long time ago that subjugating your needs for those of your kids does neither of you any good. Be selfish once in a while, and grab (heh heh) what you want/need.

 
At 7:09 PM, Blogger Janie said...

the problem, indeed, is that even when we know the rules, our heart doesn't let us follow them. but i will not comment, given my new/current situation.

love you. hope you find exactly what you are looking for!

 
At 1:28 AM, Blogger Ant said...

Hum. I get the thoughts of "fuck it, let's just go out and get laid" on a semi-regular basis. Then I go and do my Friday Dance and end up thinking a lot clearer:

Sex without strings doesn't exist for me, and tough-talk notwithstanding, I don't think it exists for most other people either. So even though I've got a sneaking suspicion I'm sounding a lot like my parents, I advise caution.

Until the woman comes along that completely and utterly knocks me off my feet, I'm perfectly content to Friday Dance the night away. The relationship hassles of something that isn't working just aren't worth it.

 
At 2:03 AM, Blogger Ultra Toast Mosha God said...

..so let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel.

I think you have answered your own questions, so there is no need for me to add anything.

 
At 7:27 PM, Blogger rennratt said...

That is a tough spot to be in...

...I have no pro or con for you. It seems as though you are looking at all angles prior to leaping - or not.

Best of luck with your decision, as it is no easy one to make.

 
At 3:15 AM, Blogger Steph said...

Easy. You got a buzzy friend right? Mumma's little helper? Battery operated boyfriend?

What more do you need? :P

 
At 5:24 PM, Blogger anika said...

Oh my darling Shari. I know that you will find what you're looking for and I know that you are amazing and every time I see you I am in awe of the love you give to others, especially your beautiful girls.

You are very wonderful.

 
At 5:43 AM, Blogger Squishi said...

I know what you mean, and that is all I am going to say about it.

*sigh*

You're so blessed, don't lose that!

 
At 5:57 AM, Blogger tiff said...

I had one o' those relationships a long while back, before kids. It was....difficult. However, so many things change as we mature, that I would think now it would be easier to indulge in something "selfish," to use Kingfisher's words. Good luck to you!

 

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