Thursday, May 25, 2006

I Used To Write Better Letters

I love writing letters.

I love getting them even more.

A few years ago my New Year's Resolution was to write 5 letters a week to random people. I have kept it up pretty well, consistently sending out 3 letters, sometimes 5.

My sister sent me this great box of copied letters a few years ago. It has letters that my Grandma wrote, letters that I wrote to my sister, letters that my brother wrote to my sister.....you get the picture.

This is a letter that I wrote to Shannon and her roommate, dated 1/17/1992:


Karen and Shannon,

I have discovered yet another cruel and unjust black hole in the universe of my life. Yes, yet another burden to carry upon my already exhausted shoulders. As you may have already guessed, it is that my name starts with and "S". (Shannon of course may understand this better than Karen - whom I may say in exceedingly lucky to be in the first half of the alphabet!)

Tonight, as I was twisting my apple stem - A......B.....C....D....snap! I realized that in this apple stem-twisting world, the "S"s are bound to fall short.

How?

Why?!!

When did this happen to me???!!!!

But from behind this thick, smokey veil of grief came a hint, a glimmer, of hope. Thank God I'm not a Wanda, Yvonne or Zorba! There are seven letters below me- ha! ha! ha!

Then the next realization hit me as a mallet hits a gong - loud and shocking , with disturbing vibrations that sound forever into the night - THESE PEOPLE NEED HELP! Therefore, I have decided to devote my life to helping the T's, U's, V's, W's, X's, Y's and Z's. Yes, I have found my nitche.

I hope you are as proud as I am happy.

ANYWAY....not much has happened since my last letter EXCEPT...

Have you ever noticed that if you spell "Wow" with 2 O's and forget the first stick on the last W...(time of for example)

WOON

And turned it upside down it would spell "moon" backwards?

Whoa.

Write me a letter or I shall slowly turn into a cashew. (And that's not an empty threat)

Love, Shari


If you want to be included in this personal letter writing campaign of mine, just let me know in the comments. I will decide if you are not creepy or weird and if I trust you enough to write you letters.

I think some of my victims are getting sick of me.....

5 Comments:

At 6:43 PM, Blogger rennratt said...

If you promise to write letters as odd as the one in your post, I am game.

 
At 1:09 AM, Blogger Ant said...

If you don't mind paying international postage, I'd be well up for that...

 
At 7:31 AM, Blogger Christine said...

(1) It is now May 26th and if you are checking your comments, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Hope it and your barbecue tomorrow are fab.

(2) I love writing and sending letters, and I actually used to keep in touch with a neighbor of mine from when I was a little girl (Mrs. Johnson, who is now probably near 90)...and in fact, I think I will write her tonight!

 
At 9:30 AM, Blogger melissa.in.london said...

Darn. Christine beat me.

Happy birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And I'd love to be your next victim!!!

 
At 6:09 PM, Blogger Squishi said...

I worked out that I could never get past F twisting apple stems a few years ago. I was devistated until I realised my Boyfriend (at the time) had a name that started with E, so it was irrelevant.

I guess it's not anymore.

It's scary when you discover this stuff, huh???

I'm always a victim, so bring it on! ;)

 

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