Eeny, Meeny, Miney, Mo....

Monday night I came home to a message from Maya's Elementary School principal (Mrs. Hoban who is incredible and wonderful and non-principal-ish). It stated that she would like me to call her at my earliest convenience regarding something that happened to Maya at school that day. She made sure to add that Maya was safe and was not in trouble.

And, of course, it was too late for me to talk to her by the time I got the message.

I was worried.

Maya is the type of student who prides herself in never getting in trouble. She has been the teacher's pet in every class so far. It actually worries me. I would like to see a bit more spunk and a bit less people-pleasing.....

When Maya was in daycare I tended to get the call "Mrs. ****, your daughter was bitten by another child in the classroom today." She was never the one who did the biting.

When Maya came in I asked her, "So, what happened in school today?" That's all I said. I didn't say it accusingly. It was just a conversational question.

Maya sighed, her cheeks turned pink, she got a bit teary-eyed and plunked down on the couch with an audible groan.

Of course, because I was always the kid that GOT in trouble, I immediately thought "Oh great, what did she do?" But thank God I didn't say it out loud.

A "friend" (I use this term as loosely as it could possible be used) got mad at Maya at recess and told her, "I don't like brown people".



Let me just state this one more time....

A NINE YEAR OLD GIRL IN THE YEAR 2006 TOLD MY BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER THAT SHE DIDN'T LIKE HER BECAUSE OF THE COLOR OF HER SKIN.



The school dealt with it very well. Everyone was called in, it was discussed. Things are being put in place with teachers, playground duties and the administration.

The rest of the day, though, all the kids were asking her why she had to go to the office. This was horrible for Maya. She was so worried that the kids were thinking that she got in trouble for something. It embarrassed her.

I bet the girls that actually said it thought nothing of being in the office. She's been in trouble before. No skin off her nose.

So, in all of this drama, the one that was being protected ended up feeling much worse than the one that actually got in trouble. That is the part that really sucks. That is the part that makes me cry.

I am not naive enough that this prejudice comes as a huge surprise. But amazingly, I have had people that are just shocked when I tell them what happened. I'm not sure if they just wish that the world was without prejudice or that they really and truly believe that the world (and especially America) has gotten past their prejudice past.

I grew up in a family where the N word was used in certain situations without a second thought. It was never "meant" to be derogatory to a certain race of people.

You probably grew up with some of the same things.

A Brazil nut was not a Brazil nut.

You did not catch a tiger by the toe.


I bartended in a dead end bar in the middle of Montana where most jokes started out, "There was a Texan, a Montanan and a N...."

I never liked it. I even fought with a few people about it.

But the majority of the time I either halfway chuckled at the jokes, or just ignored them. I am not proud of either of those reactions.

When I had my girls I realized that I could no longer just ignore prejudice. Or excuse it because of someone's age, or how they were raised.

We are all adults. We are responsible for what comes out of our mouths.

Anytime you just ignore a stupid drunk saying the N word, you ignore the problem. You add to the pool of insults that hurt innocent, wide-eyed, big-hearted little 9 year old girls.

You hurt Maya. And that is not okay.