Let It All Hang Out

I love the fact that some people I know and some people I don't know read and comment on my blog. (Actually, I wish you all will comment a bit more.....but I won't beg) But I now see the importance of having a blog that is totally anonymous. In this blog I could share all my Voldemort stories, I could rant and rave at people without fear, I could talk more about work.....

Some of the best stuff that I have to write about I feel as if I can't. But you know what? Screw that! I am just going to put all of it out there, and if I offend anyone or embarrass myself I still think it will be worth it.

List of Stuff I Need to Get off My Chest

1. The mother of my babysitter, who I have been carpooling with, has cut me to the core with something she said yesterday. She was telling me a story of her Mother working in the south and hating "N-words". Now, if there is a word that I cannot stand to have spoken in my presence it is that one. Let me say one more time - her daughter babysits my daughters. Here is a link to their picture. I did not silently take this, I called her out on it and I am finding a new way to work and a new babysitter. What the fuck was she thinking?
2. I am have a horrific, heart squeezing, even-dream-about-him-all-the-time crush on Voldemort (big surprise here, huh?). I have every indication that he has feelings for me also. I can't decide whether I will screw it up more to move forward with it or keep things as they are. I almost invited him to come over to my house for a barbecue with some friends. I became so worked up that I may have misinterpreted his cues that I had bad dreams about rejection for a week. The worst was this....

We were at a big dinner party, obviously on a date. There were some couples leaving and everyone was gathered around the door saying goodbye. I was there, but Voldemort wasn't. A woman came up to me and whispered that Voldemort really had a way with his hands and she had a crush on him.

I walked into the kitchen after this, Voldemort and another woman were cleaning up. She was at the sink and he was loading the dishwasher. I leaned up against the counter, laughing and secure in myself, and told them what she had said to me. I remember feeling so confident that we were "together".

Voldemort glanced at the other woman. They both got these pitying looks in their eyes. He sighed, and just as he was going to inform me that I was the one mistaken, I woke up.

Bad self esteem is not becoming, is it?

These admissions and outings will definitely continue, but this is all I have time for right now.

If you are my babysitter's Mother or Voldemort - I will no longer keep your stories bottled up! No one is safe! You are all going to end up here at some point, because it is my outlet. I will not censor myself any longer!