Mass Beaching Reported Near Pacific Coast

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A horrid site. A mass grounding of "barbietious mattelamus" at an undisclosed location. Scientists are still at a loss to explain this rare event. This species, more often referred to as "Barbies" are known to regularly shed their clothes never to don them again. It is widely believed that this pertains to some elaborate mating ritual. Mass beachings are more rare, however. A group of five volunteers tried to save these majestic creatures, but to no avail.