Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Isn't It Funny.....

I have been spending a few hours each day at work learning a new position. It is stressful in many different ways. The largest stress is that this job is done - and has been done for many years - by one person. No one else knows how to do it.

Chris, who does this work, will be leaving for China to adopt a baby any day now. And when he goes there will be no one to ask, no one to call, I am totally on my own. Fantastic.

I could easily use a full month of eight hour days to learn this information. But, I get an hour a day for three weeks.

A major part of the job involves manually auditing the payroll files for the entire company. Read into this: Shari has the oppurtunity to really screw up people's lives.

I had my first bad dream about this last night.

I must say, though, my training has been quite enjoyable. Chris is a man after my own heart in the fact that he is wickedly sarcastic and cynical.

He often will wonder aloud, "I have no idea why the hell they picked you for this. It makes me nervous."

To which I utter something like, "I HATE you."

We get along famously.

Finding someone as un-PC as myself in Human Resources just doesn't happen every day. (Most people like us have probably already been fired.)

Yesterday we were discussing how, if you have the right attitude, you can say anything you want, laugh, and get away with it. I laugh all the time. It's genetic. I don't even realize that I'm doing it.

It doesn't have to be a cynical thing, or a funny just happens...all the time.

"I am really sad..." hahahahahaha

"You are a total, unequivicable asshole." hahahaha

"I despise you, your family, and everything you stand for." hahahaha

"This is my Power Point presentation regarding your 401-K retirement plan." hahahahahaha

It can be optimally used as a defense mechanism, but also as a coverup to improper behaviour. Unfortunately, it may cause your supervisors/managers to not take you very seriously.



At 2:25 AM, Blogger rennratt said...

Payroll! Hahahahaha!

[runs screaming from room]

So, tell me. How do you handle employees that take unapproved overtime?

At 3:05 AM, Blogger Ant said...

"I'm going to engage in large-scale embezzlement, bankrupt the entire company and leave everyone penniless and homeless, while I emigrate to Barbados..."


Laughter is so so important - I do it all the time too, sometimes too much...

And your laughter is infectious, which is why you're so great to be around!


At 5:26 AM, Blogger Christine said...

Bah, at my job payroll manages to screw my checks up all the time. No big deal, a couple of emails later and the problem is solved...So don't feel too badly about minor screw ups. Hell I'm still waiting to get paid from last Friday. It's a good thing they believe I'm independently wealthy. (Like has all of $200 in bank accounts, combined.)

At 11:13 AM, Blogger anika said...

I LOVE that you are like that, Shari! You are the funnest ever.


(but I was serious)

At 12:15 PM, Blogger Amy said...

Nothing better for your health than a great sense of humor. Oh wait, good diet, exercise might be thrown in there. Oh, and no smoking or drinking. and no extended sun exposure. Or working in a nuclear plant. Or drinking contaminated water. Or using the restroom at the local McDonald's...oh, but wait, right, humor!


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