Monday, July 03, 2006


I had to get the emissions test done on the Honda this weekend. The Minty Squirrel looked smug when I pulled out of the driveway, as if he knew what I was in store for.

I pulled in, there was absolutely no line. I was calmly driving down one lane when a DOT worker waived me to the far, far right lane. I had to really crank the wheel to get over there, then crank it really hard to the left to straighten into the lane.

The woman who worked there was very nice and we chatted while she checked the gas cap. It passed and it was time to move onto the next phase. The man waved for me to drive forward. I pushed the gas.....and the car quickly and dramatically lurched to the left. I corrected before I hit any essential equipment and drove onto the rotor things.

He chided me a bit by saying, " had me worried there for a minute." We both laughed it off. Then he asked me to get out of the car. At this point I had to turn around to give the girls "rules". (As yelling, no giggling too loud, stay seated, no bouncing, listen to the nice man.......)

And when I turned around in my seat to talk to them my elbow hit the horn.

The testing is done in a long garage with about 6 stations total. The horn reverberated back and forth, back and forth....

And everybody looked at me.

And the man holding my door sighed really loud.

I got out and went to sit in the little glass enclosure while he revved the engine and sodomized the poor car with some sort of stick. He then waved me back to the car, asking me to PLEASE not step on the gas while the last test was being run.

You will be happy to know that I followed his request flawlessly.

He handed me my readouts saying, "I have good news and I have bad news..."

(Shari groans)

"The bad news is I won't see your pretty smile for two more years, and the good news is your car passed."

(Shari gets a little grossed out)

As I drove out, trying to look non-grossed out, I popped the clutch and killed the car.

Sheepishly, I finally got out of there - with my wheels pointed in the correct direction, smoothly shifting gears......


At 9:08 AM, Blogger Kingfisher said...

Excellent. Could be worse. You could have been at the doctor having YOUR emissions tested.

And you should be flattered by the smile compliment.

At 10:09 AM, Anonymous megan said...

My adorable, adorable friend...
And to think he will never know what a genius you really are.


At 12:19 PM, Blogger Ant said...


Yes, you ladies had better leave the car stuff to the men or your pretty little heads will overheat...

At 7:32 AM, Blogger Ultra Toast Mosha God said...


Sleazy mechanics. They truly exist everywhere.

At 2:06 PM, Blogger anika said...

Shari and the door-holding-man,
Sitting in a tree ...

Ok I got nothin' ...
Despite your horn honking shenanigans, he thinks you're hot!

At 1:43 PM, Blogger Janie said...

shari's honda corners like a rockets sled on rails.
i think we should hook the creepy inspector up with the creepy pizza guy near my work!


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