You May Lease My Friendship

I have decided that I will not be used by any of my so-called "friends" anymore. I am going to write up a friendship lease that will need to be signed by all who know and will know me.

While typing up a lease agreement today at work I read this clause....

SECTION 31. Miscellaneous.
(a) Quiet Enjoyment.
So long as Tenant is not in default under this Lease beyond any applicable grace or cure period, Tenant shall have quiet enjoyment of the Premises throughout the Lease term, subject, however, to matters of record and to those matters to which this Lease may be subsequently subordinated.

Who knew that I could hold someone accountable for my own quiet time? It is my legal right! Actually, as this reads, it is your right, if you are my tenant (a.k.a. friend) to have quiet enjoyment of me.

Hmmm...

I think I want to be the Tenant. Anyone out there interested in being my Landlord?