Mom...Don't Lie To Me
First, let me preface this little story with a quote from Sophocles...
For all you MSN search people who got here by searching "How to induce vomiting" or "Self induced vomiting" or "Dog swallowed socks/chicken bone" - Just shove your index finger down your throat and wiggle it around. If that doesn't do the trick, read on, dear bulimic friends.....
First, let me preface this little story with a quote from Sophocles...
I have read a few posts of late that lament the holidays happening when there is just no money. I understand this well my friends. I have definitely had worse years than this, and my stress level is quite low comparatively. I am very thankful for that.
*sigh* I only wish that the Minty Squirrel name hailed from the story that makes sense to tell. Even as I look back on the story I find it strangely not-funny. This is truly one of those "you had to be there at the time" stories which also mixed with the chemistry of the personalities at the time -- Erik, Jami (at her most hysterical and bossy), Trina,Trina's cat-chasing dog, Cisco, Crookshanks, James (from XIP) and myself. (and... of course some mint and a squirrel) If I could tell you, I would. But you'd probably just fall asleep. Feel free to make something up!
So! There you go! Mystery solved! :)
The above mentioned names are actually the name of one cat. And yes, it is the cat that I mentioned in the squirrel post. The one who was frozen solid in a pan of milk.
A funny thing that I can't really make into an entire post...
My Mom, my kids and I went out to dinner at a swanky restaurant on Tuesday. Maya (in an incredibly loud voice) announced, "If anyone needs an extra fork, I've got two!"
I apoligize for any pop-ups. I had no idea it was happening until Squishi told me. I hate to annoy any of my faithful readers, so I am removing what I hope to be the culprit. (the Google ad thing) Let me know if it works.
I am not exactly sure why, but this is an inarguable fact.
My mother could save animals. She may possibly be considered for sainthood. Someday there will be a large marble statue of my Mom surrounded by animals - a bird balancing on her outstretched finger, a dog lovingly nuzzling her hand, a cat and a bunny curled up at her feet, fawns prancing around her, AND a squirrel sitting on her right shoulder.
These are not just randomly chosen images. My Mom saved numerous birds, quite a few dogs (Goose, Rags, Putsy to name a few), a cat that had been frozen solid in a pan of milk I KID YOU NOT, a rabbit that was so young it didn't even have fur yet (and was found floating down a ditch - we named him Moses), and yes.....a squirrel. Eventually named Speedy.Now, the Speedy rescue was not quite as dramatic as the frozen cat or the floating bunny, but it was to be a defining moment in my childhood.
It began innocently enough with a nibble on a finger here and there. Then the nibbles became full on bites. When he had us scared enough, we were eventually running and screaming down the hallway to our bedrooms with a evil and bad-mannered squirrel on our tail. Yeah. This may seem funny now. But holy shit it was scary! Ever been bitten by a squirrel? It hurts! Plus, he was speedy (just like his name) and that kind of speed is also frightening. This is what Speedy looked like during this stage of his life....
So our household was reduced to crying, running, squirrel-phobic children.
Eventually, Speedy was given to a family friend who lived far up in the deserted hills. She acclimated him to being an "outside squirrel" by leaving his open birdcage on the front porch. He would go out exploring during the day and come home at night, eventually leaving for longer and longer periods of time until (we hope) he felt successful in the wild and decided to stay out there. Possibly with a new squirrel family? Who knows.
My daughter learned how to walk by getting really excited about the squirrels outside of the sliding glass door and trying to get to them.
My car is named the Minty Squirrel.
Don't you think there are too many squirrel related items on my personal timeline?
Since when did I ever post about a dog swallowing anything?
Oh, I feel a real post coming on. I feel it. I do.
Oh, and by the way, I don't intend for my morning announcements to take over as my daily blogging entries, but I am to damn busy actually doing my job than to blog. Sorry! Just think how I feel!
And bonus picture of the day (of my department's off-site meeting and bowl-a-rama). Can you guess which one is me?
Something that I haven't done, but am seriously considering...
Remember in elementary school when there were morning announcements read every day over the loud speaker? Well, if you don't - then just imagine it.
So here we go......
1. 24 days left until "Mamma Mia"
2. Quirk o' the Day - I love pigeons and get really sad when people are mean to them.
3. Searches for "induce vomiting" from 11/16/05 - 5
Searches for "toenail collections" from 11/16/05 - 1
Inspired by a post about a carwash from Jerk's blog, I give you my car wash story....
Oh...how I love the mixed metaphor. The spelling and grammatical error.
It took reading it two times before I noticed it. He damn well better be sorry!
Or would that be "A Cold Relative".
Look at Maya (green jacket). I had no idea Sophie came so close to being devoured by her obviously evil sister.
Oh, and not only is Anika great. And her son. But Janie is an absolute cut-up, too. We laughed and laughed - especially loudly at lunch. Because we could. And we had to make up for the "rude to the waitress for no apparent reason" table anyway.
You guys, I had a blast!!
If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, even if we don't speak often, please post a comment with a memory of you and me. It can be anything you want, either good or bad. When you're finished, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or mortified) about what people remember about you.
That's what Sophie said when we stepped outside of the restaurant and into 36 degree weather last night.
Do you know that old 70's song, "Rollercoaster (of love)"?
co-nun-drum n. 1. A riddle in which a a fanciful quesiton is answered by a pun. 2. a. A problem admitting of no satisfactory solution. b. A difficult and complicated problem.
I had a moment of weakness last night.
I have been trying to post some Halloween night sketches and blogger won't let me. I hate that.
Okay, so I am all weepy today - as referenced in the last post. And my best friend in the world (who took the pictures of the girls and went with on the trick or treat cavort-fest last night with me) wrote this in the email that she sent along with the pictures. It has made me even more leaky in the eye area. (She is great because she offered to take pictures for me because of the evil camera stealing bastard.....and many other reasons.)
When I was growing up I would get REALLY excited for holidays. I was the youngest in my family and I think also the most outwardly emotional.
****ahem**** I'm not trying to brag or anything.....but I made those costumes.
And credit for the pictures to the coolest parents ever in the entire world - Sean and Megan (who begat the great and wonderful Piper, North and Abbie.) You guys are the greatest family in the history of mankind.